JUST WHO DO YOU HAVE TO KILL TO GET HEALTH CARE AROUND HERE?

In this book, you, the reader, get to be the main character in an exciting tale of blackmail and corporate espionage. You're an alcoholic temp with a dream of one day being a celebrated novelist. Unfortunately, you drink too much. When you wake up from a blackout, you discover you've been framed for murder. Someone wants you to take a permanent job, and he's ready to blackmail you into doing it. What will you do? Will you turn yourself over to the cops and write a memoir about being wrongly imprisoned? Will you go perm and enjoy the benefits of health care? Or will you escape into the sewers and live with the Mole People? The choice is yours!

If you want to just surrender and go to jail, turn to page 6.

If you want to hide by blending in with a group of 9/11 conspiracy theorists, turn to page 160.

If you'd like to let Haviland Payne, CEO of SkoolKidz Uniformz, have her way with you, turn to page 73.

If you want to see how the whole situation gets resolved on page 181, turn to page 181.