Having been ill for over two years with what he thought was colitis, the author was admitted to hospital in February 2003. He was diagnosed with advanced non-Hodgkin lymphoma. Despite a series of operations his condition steadily deteriorated. By August, he was less than half his normal body weight, had lost two major organs, had suffered a massive stroke, and was the subject of a 'do not resuscitate' order. Shortly after this, treatment for the lymphoma was found to be totally ineffective. At this point, at less than half his normal bodyweight, the doctors deemed survival impossible ...