Weighing in at 389 pounds, Simeon Saint-Simone was doing just fine. He enjoyed laying on his cardiac tilt table next to a window facing the sea, gazing at scantily clad young people frolicking on the beach, drinking ouzo, and philosophizing about The Jerry Springer Show with Jerome, a homeless Cuban man he hired to curate his opus, The Garden of Memory, which looked like a cluttered junkyard to his uninitiated and unenlightened neighbors. Unfortunately, when Simeon's father suddenly dies, his father's concubine and brother-turned-sister decide to invade his home, disrupting the peace as they argue over the Saint-Simone fortune. Newly qualified to be on Lives of the Rich and Famous, Simeon feels his life disintegrating until he reaches his final, great fall.