On November 22, 1963, curtain rod salesman Sam Vincent takes lunch in Dealey Plaza, Dallas, and awaits the arrival of President Kennedy. Sam eats his lunch while standing on a sewer grate, with no idea the president's true assassin crouches below, gun at the ready. This coincidence earns Sam a place in the "Outfit That Has No Name" and a new identity as Professor Vincent Samuel, publisher of The Magic Bulletin.

Thirty years later, brokerage clerk Peter Hokes attends a convention of assassination enthusiasts. In the midst of wild theories and a couple crazies, Peter remains fascinated with the Kennedy assassination and the mystery surrounding the president's death. He realizes appearances can be deceiving just as deceptions begin appearing all around him.

In Manhattan Peter's obsession with the assassination cost him Aretha Nally, the single lustrous person in his life. In Dallas his obsession carries additional costs. His innocuous research on the Red White and Blue Curtain Rod Company earns him a life-changing encounter with the mysterious Professor Samuel and permanent citizenship in the vast chaotic cauldron that constitutes conspiracy land.